Ghost Lessons
by AnimeFreek101
Summary: Wheee! Happy Halloween all! XD Dexter's gone nuts and made his own 'lil ghost lessons thing! RR please, all flamers go to my sis!


A/N: Heyo all!^^ Long time no see, eh? Anyways, here's my short 'lil Halloween ficcie, I just HAD to write something Halloween, I wasn't gonna go on forever without writing anything! Anyways, hope you guys enjoy.^^  
  
*'lil sis appears outta nowhere, glaring evilly at Katy*  
  
Katy: Oh yeah! My sis co-authored the fic, so if you got some rude things to say about it, blame my sis! XD  
  
My sis: ;; THIS is the respect and thanks I get for helping others…  
  
Disclaimer: I dun own Hamtaro or any of the scenes I got from Mickey's House of Villains, so dun sue me, but you may sue my sis all you want! ^^  
  
My sis:…I really don't like you….-_-'  
  
**Ghost Lessons**  
  
*****  
  
Dexter (Narrator): *off screen* (the narrator will ALWAYS be off screen) Good evening ladies and geltlehams. I am Dexter Hamham, your ghost teacher for the night. Tonight we will be looking at how to turn an ordinary ham ham into a *tries to sound all scary and crap* creepy ghost ham….ooooooh! *thunder is heard and lightning flashes* Ahem…*clears throat* The first step to becoming a ghost ham is to…well…become a ghost. Lets go check on our victim…er…I mean our student, shall we?  
  
__STEP ONE: BECOMING A GHOST__  
  
Howdy (victim/student): *is sitting in an armchair reading a newspaper*  
  
Dexterl: Ah yes…Howdy…our victim, hehehe-er…STUDENT! O_O Uh…let's just watch closely as he completes the first step…  
  
Howdy: *hums merrily to himself; gets up, folding newspaper and leaving it on armchair; puts on hat and walks out door…crashing sounds are heard outside; loud explosion and Howdy's painful scream;*  
  
Dexter:…uh…okay…right…*clears throat nervously*  
  
Howdy (now a ghost): *walks back in merrily, and puts hat back; notices camera* Hey…who're you?! O_O  
  
Dexter: Oh…we're just here giving out ghost lessons…you being the ghost.  
  
Howdy: O.O WHAT?! I'M A GH-GH-GH…..A DARN PHANTOM!?   
  
Dexter:…well…yes. But, it's for a good cause…you get to scare someone.  
  
Howdy:…hm…not a bad idea….okay partner! You got yourself a deal!  
  
Dexter: Okay, step one complete! Now onto step two!  
  
__STEP TWO: CREEPY LAGHTER__  
  
Dexter: In order to scare the fur off of other ham hams, you have to know how to laugh really creepy like. For example…*plays tape*  
  
Tape player: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-*loud screams are heard in background*-*Dexter cuts tape player off* Now you try Howdy…  
  
Howdy:…*clears throat*…bw-ha-ha-ha-ha…is that good?! Did I do good?!  
  
Dexter:…uh…no…this time, put the 'has' in the laughter together.  
  
Howdy: Okay! Bwahahahaha….how was THAT for an evil laugh…huh? Huh?!  
  
Dexter…well…better then the first…but…you know…say it more loud.  
  
Hody: Okay…*clears throat* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Dexter: GOOD! GOOD! Now we're ready for step three!  
  
__STEP THREE: FINDING THE RIGHT HAUNTED HOUSE__  
  
Dexter: Everyone knows that good scary ghosts live in big scary haunted houses. To spot a good haunted house you need to look somewhere with a big field that leads up to a big mansion. The mansion must be dark and the sky surrounding it should be pitch black all the time with lightning flashing every once in a while.   
  
Howdy: Oh! That there looks like a haunted house! *points 'lil ham size haunted house in the window of a toy store with a fake paper sky behind it and crappy horror music playing on tape play*  
  
*tape player breaks and tape pops out*  
  
Dexter:…well…not exactly what we had in mind but…I guess it'll do.  
  
Howdy: Hurrah! *flies right through glass*  
  
*Camera crashes into glass and groans are heard from behind*  
  
Dexter: Over there you butthead! *camera looks over at small opening through wall; goes through it*  
  
__STEP FOUR: CHOOSING YOUR VICTIM__  
  
-game show setting-  
  
Dexter: Welcome to our game show, where you get to pick your victim! Our ghost of the night is Howdy!  
  
*audience applause*  
  
Dexter: Alright Howdy, here are our three vict-CONTESTANTS!  
  
Voice Outta Nowhere Dude (aka VOND): Here's our first contestant: He's the field hamster with a helmet, has an X for a bellybutton and has the biggest crush on Bijou-Boss!  
  
Bijou (from the audience): *faints*  
  
Boss: *turns all red* Doh! I don't even believe in ghosts anyways…   
  
VOND: Here's our next contestant: His hobbies are skateboarding and dancing, he has a younger twin sister, and he's always being rejected by da ladies! Stanley!  
  
Stan: It's Stan yo! And the ladies don't reject ME, I reject THEM!… and I'm not afraid of ghost.   
  
Sandy (in audience): Boo! You suck Stan! That's SO not true, you're afraid of your own shadow! *throwing rotten tomatoes at him*  
  
VOND: And last but surely not least: He's big for his age, has a huge appetite and a love for sunflower seeds: Oxnard!  
  
Oxnard: *shivering; gulps* Please don't pick me…I-I-I don't like ghosts.  
  
Hamatro: Yay! Go Oxy! WOOT, WOOT, WOOT!! *waves banners around smacking several hamhams upside the head accidentally and without noticing*  
  
Dexter: Alright Howdy, it's time for you to choose. Is it gonna be, 1.) Boss, 2.) Stan, or 3.) Oxnard?  
  
Howdy:…um…hm…*thinking*  
  
*time ticking: tick, tock, tick, tock…*  
  
Howdy: BOSS! *audience claps as Stan sulks and Oxnard cheers*  
  
Dexter: Okay! Next step!  
  
__STEP FIVE: BEING FREAKY__  
  
Dexter: Ahem…heke…is the camera rolling? *camera nods* okay! We've now reached step five, entering the haunted house we've chosen all scary-like, but before we go on with our lesson let's take a look at our victim that we're going to try to scare.  
  
*Camera films a very happy Boss going up to mansion*  
  
Dexter: Okay! So let's be freaky! Our first method is the classic 'door opening by itself method'.  
  
-at front door, inside the mansion-  
  
*Boss knocks on door*  
  
Howdy: *becomes invisible and opens door*  
  
Boss: Wow! Automatic doors! Amazing, I should get one for the clubhouse…*enters all happy-like*  
  
Howdy:….o.O…he…but…the door…humph! .  
  
Dexter: Now, now, take it easy. That was only the first one, let's try the next method: 'weird thumping sounds'  
  
-at fireplace-  
  
Boss: *sitting in armchair, reading a book*  
  
Howdy: *starts knocking on wall*  
  
Boss:…*still reading*…  
  
*thump, thump, thump*  
  
Boss:…*reading*…  
  
*thump, thump, THUMP*  
  
*…he's still reading…*  
  
Howdy: ARHG! @_@ *THUMP! THUMP! THUMPITY THUMP!*  
  
….*nope, still reading*  
  
Howdy: WHAT THE HECK'S GOING ON?! *looks over at Boss* Oh….perfect! That explains it!   
  
Boss: *wearing earmuffs*  
  
Dexter:…uh…let's try our next method…the 'lights going out by themselves' method.  
  
-in bedroom-  
  
Boss: *reading another book in his room*  
  
Howdy: *turns light off*  
  
Boss: *claps and light goes back on*  
  
Howdy: *turns light off again*  
  
Boss: *turns on lamp*  
  
Howdy: *breaks lamp*  
  
Boss: *gets flashlight out*  
  
Howdy:…grr…*snatches flashlight*  
  
Boss: *turns light on construction helmet*  
  
Howdy:…GRR… *getting WAY pissed; knocks helmet off his head*  
  
Boss: *lights candle*  
  
Howdy: *blows out candle*  
  
Boss: *gets out of bed and flips the circuit…breaker…thing…yeah*  
  
Howdy: GAH!   
  
Dexter: Um…we…we still have one more method…it's sure to at least get him to notice you…heh…uh…the 'scary noise in his room method'…heh…yeah.   
  
-in lit up bedroom again; Boss is still reading-  
  
Howdy: *pops up next to Boss's bed* BOO!   
  
*nothing happens*  
  
Howdy: *grumbles and laughs all evilly*  
  
*nothing*  
  
Howdy: *breaks a bunch of glass stuff*  
  
*nothing*  
  
Howdy: *brings in marching band*  
  
*nothing*  
  
Howdy: *lights up firecrackers in room*  
  
*nothing*  
  
Howdy: *makes lotsa other noises*  
  
*still nothing*   
  
Howdy: WHAT THE (beeeeeeeeeeeeep)!!!!???? WHY DOESN'T HE GET SCARED?!   
  
*camera closes in on the book that Boss is reading: "How to Sleep With Your Eyes Open"*  
  
Boss: *eyes wide open* O_O *snores*  
  
Howdy:….GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR……*explodes* Gah! I can't take it much longer! *goes insane and starts pulling out his fur; crawls over to Boss's bed all desperate-like* I give up!  
  
Boss: *wakes up* heke? *sees Howdy* O.O AAAAAAH! GHOST! *panics*  
  
Howdy: No! It's just meh! Howdy! *they run around all over the place*  
  
Boss: I'm outta here! *runs outside…crashes explosions are heard; Boss screams*  
  
Howdy: o.o Oh my…  
  
Boss: *comes in; is a ghost too* You're gonna pay for this….  
  
Howdy: Hey! Now you're a ghost too!  
  
Boss: I don't wanna be a ghost!  
  
Howdy:…you get to scare the fur offa ham hams…  
  
Boss:….hm…hey, that sounds like fun! Okay!  
  
****  
  
Dexter: And THAT ladies and gentle hams is how to be good ghost. Until next Halloween…good night, don't let the bed bugs bite…literally.  
  
THE END  
  
Dexter:…you still rolling?…yes? Well shut it off already! *camera shuts off*  
  
Okay…now THE END  
  
*****  
  
A/N:…heh…guess it's not so short. Well, hope you enjoyed, although it sucked like crap, oh well.^^ Please R/R, flames excepted, remember, any rude comments, then my sis is the person to complain to.^^  
  
My sis: would ya shaddup already?! *throws lolipop at Katy*  
  
Katy: Hey! O_O You can't treat your older sister like that!   
  
My sis:…It's a free country. ;; *leaves the place as mysteriously as she came in*   
  
Katy:…Oh…oh well! See ya all around! Bye-Q!^^  
  
Have a happy…erm…scary Halloween! Heh…^^;; *gives everyone candy…well…chocolate coded sunflower seeds actually*   
  
Final note: Meh! Sorry Numbuh 7! I know I promised some S/M-ness…but…I didn't put any…meh…sowwy! @_@ 


End file.
